African American WeddingFor the past month , I have been doing a lot of research by conversation to find out how men decide who they marry and the silliest method I came to hear about might just be  the most ridiculous and inefficient classification system the world has had since binomial nomenclature. (Yes,binomial nomenclature , I honestly don’t feel comfortable being classified as a monkey’s relative ).  Anyway,you know how the expression “to have and to hold” is often used in weddings? I think its appropriate to use it to explain how men classify women.  Follow closely…

First up, is the woman he just wants to have. One word to describe her … uh … there isn’t one because she’s the type of woman who MUST be described by an adjectival phrase like “drop dead gorgeous” , “smoking hot” , “fine as hell” or some other phrase related to death and fire . And sometimes beauty is the only qualification needed.He doesn’t care if intelligence and common sense fall in the range of negligible to non-existent… noooo… he only cares that his friends think that his girlfriend is ridiculously sexy and enjoys their envy cause they don’t have her. This woman is a status symbol, the kind that lead to the writing of such songs as “Uliza Kiatu” (Ask My Shoes ) because a man will live beyond his means, go to hell and back, donate a kidney, among other nonsense, just to impress this woman.

Next up, is the one he just wants to hold.  I will try to explain this as politely as I can.This woman is perfect for his physical needs a convenient place for quick relief before going for a swim, or heading to the store…. which is so demeaning. And don’t let any woman lie to you that it can just be physical without being emotional, maybe for immature , emotionally stunted men, yes, but for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN physical and emotional are intertwined… its actually a hormonal issue because apparently women have enough bonding hormone(oxytocin) for every James, Jack and John. While men can remain totally unaffected by a physical encounter with a woman. ( How unfair is this???) So while she is there bonding and getting attached, he will never introduce her as his girlfriend, not even to his dog. This woman is there for utility and utility only.

The third and final is the woman he wants to have and to hold. Miss. Marriage Material .This by far was the craziest description and goes to prove that some men will never grow up. She is…. wait for it… like his mother. I don’t even know  what to say to this one. Which woman wants to be told,”I married you because you are just like Mum… ” Really, dude??? If you want your mother, go home!!! Just like Mum and you want her to have your children???? Get serious.

So in short a lot of men want to date a doll, sleep with an emotionless, convenient robot and marry their mother????  This bogus classification of women can go fry in a pan… I’m not having it. Men who use it should either refine it to include the diversity of all women or  do away with it completely. Every woman is in a class of her own, so don’t treat us like we were mass produced in a River Road factory. And ladies, don’t live up to the stereotype, get a grip and use your head.


9 thoughts on “TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

  1. msichanawanairobi…… kudos!!! u have hit the nail on the head. i could not agree more. every guy wants a barbie doll, an emotionless thing for a lady or to marry thea mother like gal. ….shame on them all. Such disgraceful, disgusting and dehumanizing traits should have ended when they wa concerved…..
    nice work by the way….


  2. Good to know what men think of us………….shame on those who are comparing the wife materials to their mother at thus age..otherwise nice piece Miss Keep Up!!!


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