I was that girl who hid her face behind her hands anytime people on TV looked like they were about to hug, the girl who swore that her first kiss would be from the man who would be her husband. Sadly, that dream went down a toilet called “Failed Relationship”. And I am still praying that I’ll be a virgin when I get married. Some may ask, “What if you don’t get married?” Simple. I’ll be a virgin as long as I live. Most people wouldn’t be surprised that I said that. Their reason: I’m a woman .I’m meant to be a virgin.
Over the past month, I’ve been speaking to a couple of people about virginity. My classmates, my friends, people I go to church with, pastors and married people. After a few conversations I realized something : Almost everyone seems sure that girls should be virgins. “It’s important,” they said. However, when I asked whether boys should be virgins too, I can count on one hand the people who said yes without thinking about it or sounding unsure.
This is what drives me up the wall, across the ceiling and out of the room: The double standard. The way society implicitly insists on the sexual purity of unmarried women and condones the sexual escapades of unmarried men. You will note that even our languages have enough terms to refer to unmarried women who are not virgins: “loose women”, “hoes”, “tarts”, “scandalous” and “used goods”. You want to know the term we use for such men? You’re sure want to know? Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s “men” . (Surprise, surprise) I know some may argue that “these days” there’s such a thing as a “man whore”. As if that makes it any better!! Hooray!There’s a term for promiscuous men! Let’s throw a party. Really? Get serious.
Even some dictionaries, which I now consider useless, define the word virgin in a very feminine or skeptical way:
virgin n. Person who has not yet had sex. Largely believed to be mythological. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=virgin) “Largely believed to be mythological” Seriously?
virgin a person who has never had sexual intercourse. 2. an unmarried girl or woman. 3. Ecclesiastical. an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint. (dictionary.reference.com/browse/virgin )
One definition in the free dictionary says: “an unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.”(www.thefreedictionary.com/Virgin)
You know what? I think men should be virgins too. Virgins until their wedding night. It’s just that simple because in all the years I have studied and learned in English, I am yet to find the opposite of bachelor , to be ” virgin”.A virgin is a woman; a virgin is a man. Virginity is for everyone.
So, I want you to tell me what you think. This conversation is not over, we’re going to be talking about it the whole week. So, feel free to leave your comments and take the poll. Let me know what you think. I’ll be back tomorrow.