“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” -Matthew 10:16
Everything is about sex these days.Campus is definitely about sex!! The posters that advertise parties are about sex, school politics is loaded with sexual innuendo, the dancing mimics sex,the music we listen to is just sex set to different tunes, rhythms and beats, a lot of the guys are on the prowl to have sex and many of the girls are trying to say “no” to sex for as long as they can. Not everybody is doing it, but everybody is talking about it in one way or another.
If you think about this sexually charged environment , it seems almost impractical to stay celibate or be a virgin. It’s like being a lamb in a den of hungry lions. As I shared before, I was a pretty naive soul when I first got on campus. I thought that everyone was like me: straightforward; saying what they mean and meaning what they say. Well, I had to catch on fast and realize that if I didn’t get sharp, I would be the next in some people’s line of fire.
For all of you out there who think that it’s fine to be naive and that ignorance is bliss, or you harbor a pious notion that is unholy or “unChristian” to think(not obsess) about your sex life and plan for it ,consider yourself slapped on the face. We have to wise up if we’re going to make it out alive. One needs have a game plan for sexual purity. It is no joke and as the Bible says, you have to be a snake about it. So here are my rules for surviving a sexually charged campus.
1. NO MAN WALKS UP TO A WOMAN BECAUSE OF HER MIND
This we just have to accept. There is no man who walks up to a woman because she has a “beautiful mind” . Frankly, I don’t think it’s their fault. Their ancestor Adam all but burst into poetry when he saw Eve , exclaiming “Bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh” … Please note he did not say “Mind of my mind”, he noticed her bones and her flesh. So they are kind of predisposed to being amazed at the female body.When a man notices a woman it is a sexual event not just a visual one. He does not walk up to you because he likes the color of your dress. Keep this in mind. However,to be fair, some walk up to you and decide they want to get to know your mind and learn who you are. Others just want to know you in the Biblical sense… This will help you sift out who you want around you and who you don’t.
2. FIND SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO DO
“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.” ~ Huxley
If you keep thinking about it, it won’t be long before you find a way to start doing it. Find something to do that keeps you occupied. If it’s too much energy you have find something that makes you tired and keeps your mind busy. Oh and please note, movies and series with raunchy scenes do not help.You can not have sex vicariously through TV characters!!! At some point you’ll go get it done yourself. So please, what we watch ,read and listen to have to be constructive well. Let me just mention that a lot of the music we listen to these days just incites us to have sex. I mean, is that all that is happening in the world??? There really is more to life. You will not die if you don’t have sex.
3. DON’T GET OFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE PITY YOUR CELIBACY
Start working on your thick skin for there are mockers of celibacy at every turn. There are people who will think you have lost your mind, that you must be sexually dysfunctional, that you have deep seated psychological problems, that you must not love your boyfriend or girlfriend, that you just lack opportunity …you will hear outrageous things. Jokes will be made about you. People will think you’re being sanctimonious or unreasonable. Those people can go hang on an acacia tree with very big thorns!!! No one should make you feel ashamed for doing the right thing. Keep calm and stay celibate.
Celibacy and virginity are not that hard to maintain even when we’re in a place that seems hell-bent on changing our status. We can be snakes about it and use our heads and not our hormones.
I think it’s totally practical and possible to stay celibate or be a virgin in campus. However , I want to know what you think. Is it practical to be celibate when everything around just screams “Have sex.”? Leave a comment and tell me what you think.