BE A SNAKE ABOUT IT

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” -Matthew 10:16

 Everything is about sex these days.Campus is definitely about sex!! The posters that advertise parties are about sex, school politics is loaded with sexual innuendo, the dancing mimics sex,the music we listen to is just sex set to different tunes, rhythms and beats, a lot of the guys are  on the prowl to have sex and many of the girls are trying to say “no” to sex for as long as they can. Not everybody is doing it, but everybody is talking about it in one way or another.

If you think about this sexually charged environment , it seems almost impractical to stay celibate or be a virgin.  It’s like being a lamb in a den of hungry lions. As I shared before, I was a pretty naive soul when I first got on campus. I thought that everyone was like me: straightforward; saying what they mean and meaning what they say. Well, I had to catch on fast and realize that if I didn’t get sharp, I would be the next in some people’s line of fire.

For all of you out there who think that it’s fine to be naive and that ignorance is bliss, or you harbor a pious notion that is unholy or “unChristian” to think(not obsess) about your sex life and plan for it ,consider yourself slapped on the face. We have to wise up if we’re going to make it out alive. One needs have a game plan for sexual purity. It is no joke and as the Bible says, you have to be a snake about it. So here are my rules for surviving a sexually charged campus.

1. NO MAN WALKS UP TO A WOMAN BECAUSE OF HER MIND

This we just have to accept. There is no man who walks up to a woman because she has a “beautiful mind” . Frankly, I don’t think it’s their fault. Their ancestor Adam all but burst into poetry when he saw Eve , exclaiming “Bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh” … Please note he did not say “Mind of my mind”, he noticed her bones and her flesh. So they are kind of predisposed to being amazed at the female body.When a man notices a woman it is a sexual event not just a visual one. He does not walk up to you because he likes the color of your dress. Keep this in mind. However,to be fair, some walk up to you and decide they want to get to know your mind and learn who you are. Others just want to know you in the Biblical sense… This will help you sift out who you want around you and who you don’t.

2. FIND SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO DO

“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.” ~ Huxley

If you keep thinking about it, it won’t be long before you find a way to start doing it. Find something to do that keeps you occupied. If it’s too much energy you have find something that makes you tired and keeps your mind busy. Oh and please note, movies and series with raunchy scenes do not help.You can not have sex vicariously through TV characters!!! At some point you’ll go get it done yourself. So please, what we watch ,read and listen to have to be constructive well. Let me just mention that a lot of the music we listen to these days just incites us to have sex. I mean, is that all that is happening in the world??? There really is more to life. You will not die if you don’t have sex.

3. DON’T GET OFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE PITY YOUR CELIBACY

Start working on your thick skin for there are mockers of celibacy at every turn. There are people who will think you have lost your mind, that you must be sexually dysfunctional, that you have deep seated psychological problems, that you must not love your boyfriend or girlfriend, that you just lack opportunity …you will hear outrageous things. Jokes will be made about you. People will think you’re being sanctimonious or unreasonable. Those people can go hang on an acacia tree with very big thorns!!! No one should make you feel ashamed for doing the right thing. Keep calm and stay celibate.

Celibacy and virginity are not that hard to maintain even when we’re in a place that seems hell-bent on changing our status. We can be snakes about it and use our heads and not our hormones.

I think it’s totally practical and possible to stay celibate or be a virgin in campus. However , I want to know what you think. Is it practical to be celibate when everything around just screams “Have sex.”? Leave a comment and tell me what you think.

 

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17 thoughts on “BE A SNAKE ABOUT IT

  1. It is hard. It is frustrating sometimes. But yes, it is possible. I believe that once you make a promise to God and to yourself it becomes easier to fulfill it. As long as you’re not doing it for anyone else I believe it becomes easier. Once you have understood that you do not want to take that empty and experimental path, once you’ve understood you do not want to be changed in that way before you enter marriage, you will bear the “hard” aspect, the frustrating aspect.

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  2. Good writing there msichana wa nairobi… however, i feel the need for you to share your link to other networks e.g the facebook page… just to get more views from more people. Am sure there will be arguments at some point or even people who will be deeply offended but still….. the acacia tree with big thorns still stands.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I tried to comment with my phone and my comment disappeared. So here we go with trial two.

    To stay celibate/be a virgin through campus. Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it frustrating? unequivocally. But I believe once one has made this promise to oneself AND to God, it becomes easier. Once one understands that they do not want to go down that road because of the consequences of emptiness and irreversible change, it becomes easier. So, yes it is hard, but you can make it easier for yourself by filtering your books, series,movies. Also, it is easier if you have someone of your age, someone in the same environment as you are, who identifies with your choice, this is not a must though because we must learn to be individual in your choices.

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  4. It all depends on where you focus your energies. If you choose the right path, focus is what keeps you there. One should see beyond the pleasures of sinful habits. Christ was quoted in Luke , ” No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of GOD.”
    Nice write.

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  5. You’ve simply illustrated that being celibate is an effort and doesn’t come automatically! You can’t stop life to be celibate, life has to go on and it’s all a choice! Sexual sin can be avoided.
    Kazi mzuri!
    Write about secondary virginity pia

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  6. “tranquility in hostile.” is my two word phrase.
    it is possible to mantain being a virgin and a *celibate.
    thanks for this wonderful sharing….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Just read this blog and Ebby I believe this topic needs to be on a larger platfoam.
    So many teenagers and young adults need to know that they are not alone in their want/need to be celibate, but they dont get to know or hear about the beauty of celibacy. The closest majority of them get is by learning from others mistakes and hence only remain virgins due to fear and not choice. They need more people stepping out and saying its ok and right to be celibate.

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    1. It can be on a larger platform .. If you share it with your friends and encourage them to share it with their friends… I agree with you.. More of us should be proud of being celibate… Thanks for reading

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