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“Sometimes getting what you want is what you need.”


You know how most mothers “give birth” to their babies? My mother did not do that with me. The day of my birth was basically my mother persevering through me getting myself out of her. Let me explain: Most babies come out of their mothers on their backs, facing up. They, also, usually just let themselves be pushed out. I on the other hand came out on my belly, face out, and ready to meet the world. When the doctor got me out and saw how my nails had so much blood and other stuff … she figured out why my mother had been screaming more than normal: I had clawed my way out of Mummy. Isn’t that cute?

So now, every time I get smart with my mother, she gives me “the look”. Those of us who were blessed to be raised by our mothers have definitely been on the receiving end of “the look”. That special facial expression that speaks no words but conveys a heavy message. It’s a look that seems to say: “ You child, I wish you knew how hard it was to give birth to your not-so-small head and you want to terrorize me as if bringing you into this world was sneezing. You just keep going and you will get what is coming to you.” In my case however, it’s different, my mother’s look seems to say: “You child with your stubborn, impatient head that almost killed me. Just wait…” Although sometimes… okay, okay, MOST times after “the look” I still insist on my own way. Even after I get into trouble. (I’m working on that, though.) Moral of the story: I have been aggressive for a long time. I am that dangerous kind of determined that you don’t notice until you see the results. (Like how the doctor saw my hands and realized what I had been up to in utero) I want what I want and I will work my hardest to get it.

I know that last week’s post was all about toning down on wanting our own way to work out, especially when it came to our relationships. However, today, I am here to tell you that there IS a time and place for determination and strong will. The time:during your lifetime. The place: in your own life.This is why I have given last week’s saying a msichanawanairobi twist: “Want Want …Get Get” to simply mean: be determined. If you want it, go and get it. We are able to use our will and determination to change our lives for the better. In this case, I would advise that you insist on your own way. Never compromise on being a healthier,better person and definitely do not compromise reaching your full potential for someone or something  else’s sake.It’s important for us to achieve our goals and meet our targets because sometimes getting what you want, is what you need.

A lot of us have made resolutions for the new year. We have decided we will lose weight, eat healthy, read more, work less, work harder, invest, pray more, learn a new language… and so on and so forth. A lot of our resolutions are good ideas that are very inspirational but sadly, not practical. Resolutions have become the nice things we tell ourselves to decorate the beginning of the year before we go back to doing the same old things, feeding the same bad habits and living the same old life we were living the year before.

To tell you the truth, I was also unsure a few days ago about whether I could go for something I really wanted.Whether I could avoid repeating last year’s stupid mistakes. I also wasn’t sure that I would be able to keep my resolutions and I said as much to a classmate of mine, who was also my classmate in high school, and she reminded of something our school principal used to say to us all the time: ” Girls, if you want something bad enough…the universe conspires to give it to you.” I thought about it for a while and realized why that could be true.I remembered all those times when I decided to do something or learn something and I put in all my effort. For example,last year I decided to lose weight and eat healthy and gave it my all. I set a target weight and I worked towards it and although I did not hit my target , I’m now healthier and more fit because I worked to keep that resolution.(Although, that achievement was really more about God blessing the work of my hands, feet and abs and less about conspiracies of the universe.) The point is though, that determination got me started and God gave me the determination to keep me going.

A resolution is useless without the work and the determination it takes to do the work.  So this year, I have decided to put my strong will to good use and keep my resolutions. You should try it out as well: Back up your resolutions with determination. Whether it’s being a better employee or employer, going natural (which I highly advise because AFROS ARE AWESOME!!), spending more time with your family, learning how to cook…whatever it is: Commit to it, get stubborn about it and give your best. Let your resolutions mean something. It will work and you will feel good about it. Trust me. I’m the expert at determination. Just ask my mum.


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